You know summer used to be the best time of the year! No school, sleeping in, hanging out with friends, swimming at the pool/beach. It was where the best core memories happened…. so, what the heck happened!?!
I’m 22 years old and I have to say this summer is just alright…. and it seems to be the same thing since turning 18. I don’t know if it’s just me, but I just see myself occasionally going to the beach and hanging out with my friends but majority of the time working and staying home. I’ve hyped this summer ever since the clock stuck 12 on New Year’s Day, I’ve created my Pinterest board of what summer would look like, I made future plans with friends of going to six flags, beach and little road trips, and I’ve convinced myself this would make me get out of my personal slump I’ve had for a while. Now don’t get me wrong! It’s not the worst summer; I still HAVE hung out with my friends and family a good number of times and I do actually have plans of Six Flags and the beach…. You know this sounds like I’m complaining about nothing but TRUST it’s different!
I miss the actual feeling and vibes of summer! The feeling of stress free, adventure, late nights. The nonexistence of pressure as we wake up at crazy hours of the day and just see where the day would take us. Maybe it’s because I was a kid during that time with no expectations, no worries of money or what I should do with my life. I remember getting texts from friends asking me to hang out and we would drive around with the cool summer breeze in our hair as we all sang along to our favorite songs. By the time the sun had gone and the moon had risen we would be in a random parking lot just chatting away about nonsense, laughing till tears in our eyes and we would look at the time and see 11,12 or even 1 and not be panicked to get back home cause we have work in the morning.
I remember those exciting days of waking up around 9 and hearing commotion outside my door as everyone was preparing for a beach day! Wearing shorts and a flowy shirt with my bathing suit underneath and the uncomfortable feeling of layers of sunscreen to protect my skin from the burning sun. The feeling of the hot sand under my feet, each sinking step I took as the blue ocean started taking up more of my view. THE BUILT-UP EXCITEMENT AS WE FINISHED SETTING UP AND HEADED TOWARDS THE OCEAN!! Running around splashing each other jumping over waves and building sandcastles and NOTHING beats the wawa sandwich and Doritos combo!
Just reliving these memories bring me that nostalgic feeling! Now most days I wake up at 6 and get ready to work until 3/4 just to come home eat, maybe take a nap, an occasional hangout that ends around 9/10 and repeat the cycle. Now those fun summer plans seem fun until you look at them prices:/ I mean…. $50 dollars for beach parking!?!? not to mention the fee to enter the beach. Brother my parents were really paying these prices all these years!?!? That dreadful summer heat that makes me want to punch anyone for just breathing too loud. The second I step outside I’m immediately looking for an A/C cooled place to hang out in; I don’t know how I did it as a kid but I’m barely surviving. The idea of eating ice-cream, pizza, burgers, etc. scares me cause the summer body isn’t there to begin with so eating that would just make it worst…. It seems the older you get the worst your mindset becomes and the harder it is to enjoy the moments you’ve been hoping for. It’s definitely a problem I suffer with, and I really want to fix that. I think this little rant is also a bit of a reflection on what I really want and what I’m doing to achieve that.
There is still so much time left this summer so I’m definitely going to try and be mindful of where my time and mind go during the days. Sadly, I can’t do much about my work schedule, but I can do something about my life after my shifts! I mean this whole time I’ve been writing this I’ve been listening to a 2016 summer playlist, and it really is just bringing those feelings back. Of course, that feeling was from a time that most likely can’t be recreated as the atmosphere in 2016 were immaculate, but I can make something extremely close to it and that I shall! next week I’m going to the park and play some kickball with my cousins, and I’ll be as present as possible! Forget about the problems I have and just focus on the laughter and enjoyment. you know they say journaling is very healing for you and TBH I think they’re right…. I feel so much better than how I felt when I started writing this.
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